Things I like to do that really make no sense #002

Another thing I like to do, this time with the five year old, is to grab her in a bear hug swaying and sing "Mull of Kintyre, oh mist rolling in from the sea, my desire...." whenever she get annoying.

Things I like to do that really make no sense #001

I like to hold up my three year old high in the air and sing
"I want to fly like an eagle to the sea,
fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me".
(and I don't even like Steve Miller)

Great Parenting Technique #32

While you help one child (age 15) on the computer, you absently let a three-year-old sit on your lap and crumble bits of Playdough into the keyboard.

The Playdough coming from a prized sculpture that a third child (aged 5) labored over for a long time and will be crushed once she realizes the 3 year-old destroyed her much admired "dinosaur".

New Stories on the Spot

Already Naomi has grown tired of the dozen or so stories of Princess Heather and her cat Camomile and has been begging for stories about my life before she was born. (Gavriel Zev, being only three still likes the simple versions of the Princess Heather stories I tell him that usually involve someone either eating too much or someone falling into something icky.)
A couple of the stories for Naomi have been short, plotless affairs, such as how we picked out her name when she was born. (I picked the Naomi part and Jennifer picked the Rivka part) or high drama, such as how Naomi was unexpectedly born in our apartment and then fifteen minutes later I was alone with her on the sofa holding a fragile new baby, yikes!
I have to admit, I do miss telling Camomile stories. I've got a good one ready to go about how she stops a couple evil witches from casting the Sleeping Beauty spell on the entire kingdom in order to steal all the children, even our precious Princess Heather and her friend, Princess Isabelle.
The ending for it is classic!

Adventure Stories for Naomi

Today Princess Heather's beige cat Camomile makes her first appearance. We begin with Camomile wandering the halls of the castle, bored and with nothing to do. So she ends up in her cat bed and starts falling asleep. The End. Then she hears a huge BANG outside. She runs to look outside the window and sees a 20 foot tall Ogre smashing his way into the castle with his big club.
Camomile races downstairs to see the Ogre smashing and crashing into the kitchen. She peers in quietly to see the Ogre eating all the food. Camomile knows that if she makes one little sound, then the Ogre will eat her too!
"Helloooo, I'm home!" shouts Princess Heather from the front door and just returning from Princess School. Camomile slowly backs away from the kitchen.
"Hey, can ANYONE hear me" yells Princess Heather.
Camomile turns to warn Princess Heather. She sees the Ogre turn his head curiously and say "Huh?"
Camomile races down the hall and jumps into Princess Heather's arms and says "Meow, meow, meow, MMEEEEowwww!"
"Oh hi Camomile! I'm glad to see you too!" says Princess Heather.
"Meow meow meow MEOW MEOW MEEEEEOWWWW!" Camomile tries to warn about the Ogre.
"Yes, I know you missed me today!"
Suddenly the Ogre smashes into the room.
"Arggghhhh!" he yells.
"Ahhhhhhhh!" yells Princess Heather and both she and Camomile run off outside the castle door.
The Ogre chases after them and starts to catch up to them.
At this point I remind Namoi that Ogre's are terrible swimmers and that if they fall into water, they could easily drown.
Both Princess Heather and Camomile head to the backyard where the pool is. The Ogre by this time is only five feet behind them and closing.
Then as Princess Heather dives into a bush, Camomile leaps up onto the diving board and jumps high into the air. The Ogre follows after the airborne cat and unable to stop his momentum, falls right into the pool of water. Camomile lands safely on the other side, while the Ogre slowly sinks into the water.
The King and Queen come out from wherever they had been this whole time and summon the Court Magician to make the Ogre disappear before he drowns. The Magician sprinkles some magic dust and the Ogre fades away, only to reappear at the far, far end of the Great Forest. (It would take 500 years for the Ogre to walk all the way back).
Princess Heather tells how Camomile had saved her life and rewards her with a new cat bed and a big warm hug.
The real End.

What a night!

Got home at 2:30 AM. Watched TV with J until 3:30. Lights out. 3:40 GZ wets bed and needs changing. 4:00 noisy Mexican neighbours pour out of house and drunken revelry ensues. J calls police twice. 6:30 NR wets bed and needs changing.

As I am getting fresh sheets I hear a scratching in the kitchen, only
to see a raccoon on top of the succah trying to break into the loose
screened kitchen window. Cut my hand trying to whack the raccoon off of
the succah with a broom. Bleed all over until I can find suitable
bandages. Go back to bed with throbbing finger until 8:0...0, when GZ
comes in asking for breakfast.

Try not to kill the children

Night two of taking care of the Littles by myself and they are in their bedroom, singing and laughing like a pair of drunken sailors on shore-leave. What can I do to make them calm down and sleep? Other than take their pillows away for two minutes over and over again, I don't know....
Argggh!